The Christmas Tree Revisited

In honor of the Christmas holidays, I am once again reflecting on our childhood Christmases!

Of all memories stored away in our brains, what can be more special and wonderful than memories of our childhood Christmases? I grew up in Texas in the fifties, two unrelated but equally spectacular feats. My parents moved us, me and my little sister, to Texas from Long Island when I was seven. We were the dreaded (and often fighting) word—YANKEES!     As I grew older and more mature, or perhaps as I began to acquire somewhat of a Texas drawl, the Yankee comments began to dwindle, and I actually began to identify myself as a Texan. Children are very amazing when it comes to fitting in.

My parents made all holidays special ones, but at Christmas they really pulled out all the stops. Across the brown, dusty lawns and homes of Dallas, outside lights, decorations, and Christmas trees went up the day after Thanksgiving and returned to their boxes in the attic the day after Christmas, with the now dried out and shedding fir lying on the curb awaiting the trash pickup. My family was different. They looked at the rush to put trees up with disdain as if Christmas itself were being compromised. In keeping with my parents’ German and English heritage, our tree went up on Christmas Eve and stayed up at least until twelfth night, and often longer. In fact, the sudden arrival of the Christmas Tree was accomplished not by Mom and Daddy, but by the Big Man himself. Yes, our tree was decorated by Santa!

Imagine if you can, the excitement and wonder of a small child heading off to bed on Christmas Eve with a naked fir tree sitting in the living room and awaking to a fully decorated tree with presents and toys surrounding it. Another slight difference with our southern neighbors was the lavishness of the tree itself. Decorating the tree was not a casual hanging a few ornaments and lights, it was a work of art right up there with the Sistine Chapel—and often taking nearly as long to accomplish! Today, as a dedicated lover of Christmas, I compromise between the two traditions; we generally put up our trees Thanksgiving weekend and leave them up until around mid January. Of course, my artificial trees need no water and don’t shed needles all over the carpets. In keeping with today’s more elaborate decorating approaches, we have a “traditional” tree and a southwest tree, not the single lovely focal point of my childhood.

Selecting the tree was a feat unto itself. A week or two before Christmas, the four of us would make the rounds of what seemed to be every Christmas tree lot in Dallas looking for the tallest and fullest tree to be found. Luckily our old rented farmhouse had tall ceilings; even so our tree usually appeared to have grown right into the ceiling, so we never had the tradition of a star or angle topping the tree; they would have had to sit in lonely splendor in the attic! After traipsing around multiple tree lots, my sister and I grew progressively less picky. Not my father; the search continued until we found the perfect tree or rather the almost perfect tree. Since Nature herself could not seem to produce quite the tree Daddy envisioned, she had to be helped along.  Once he selected the main tree, he would select another less perfect specimen of the same variety as the first. At last we headed home with our hard found booty

Once we arrived at home, the trunks of both trees—the full bosomy one and her scrawnier little sister—were trimmed off a little, and they were left to stand in buckets of water outside the house, not in ordinary buckets of water, mind you, but in a concoction of sugar water and other secret ingredients known only to my father.  A day or two before Christmas, we began the ritual of getting ready to decorate the tree. The prime tree was brought into the house first, placed in the stand, and then put upon a device known as the platform. The platform was a 4 x 8 foot sheet of plywood which rested upon four 12” sawhorses. The tree was then placed in the center of the platform with its top branches trying their best to break through the ceiling. Grudgingly, Daddy would trim minimal branches from the top, just to allow the tree to stand upright with the top branches spreading out around the ceiling.

Next both Mother and Daddy would examine the tree critically, noting every place where a more aesthetic Mother Nature should have placed a branch.  What she couldn’t do properly, Daddy could!  Armed with a drill, he drilled holes into every spot what a more competent Mother Nature would have put a bough.  Then the other little tree’s branches were cut off and inserted into the holes in the trunk until voilá, the perfect tree emerged!  The remaining branches from the second tree were used to decorate the mantle over the fireplace and make countless other kinds of Christmas centerpieces and decorations.

Now, the lights could be put on before Santa came to finish the job.  With his busy schedule on Christmas Eve, I suspect he appreciated the help.  In those days there were no little twinkle lights or LED’s.  It was strictly the strings of old screw-in bulbs. Even the lights were a production at our house!  I don’t know how many strings of lights the average household in Texas used in those days, but take that number and triple or quadruple it, and you begin to get the idea.  Lights on the tree, now it was time to rearrange the bulbs by color.  “Harve, there are two red ones right next to each other,” my Mother would say of “We need a green one over there,” and on and on.  At long last the light bulbs were arranged and rearranged to their satisfaction.  Suzanne and I didn’t take a very active part in the lighting process; we were just happy to lie on the floor and gaze rapturously at the tree which was slowly being transformed into an object of wonder and delight.

© 2015, Black Dirt and Sunflowers

Oh No! More PE Classes!

After graduating from Thomas Jefferson High School in Dallas, I headed off to North Texas State University in Denton, Texas.  I was the first person on either side of my parents’ families to go to college.  Sadly in those days … Continue reading

Gym Classes and Other Forms of Torture

When I was in Junior High School and Senior High School, the Dallas ISD (Independent School District) decreed that all students must have four years of PE in order to graduate.  Funny, in those days we didn’t have the epidemic of childhood obesity that we see today.  I can only recall one person in my entire graduating class of over 500 students at Thomas Jefferson High School who was “fat,” as we so nastily referred to it. In elementary school, we ran ourselves silly with playing Cowboys and Indians, King of the Hill, or Red Rover.  I also stayed active with swim classes, tumbling class, riding my horse, and plenty of outdoor activities.  I was the true tomboy in those days. Interesting, we had no diet sodas, little or no fast food, no computers or tablets.  We entertained ourselves and were generally outside the entire day when we were not in school.

For the infamous PE classes, we had the most hideous one-piece gym suits ever.  They were a stiff white, muslin type of fabric with an elastic waistband.  Our first name was embroidered in red on the front pocket and our full name on the back.  Maybe that was so that our gym teachers didn’t have to worry with trying to learn our names!  “Hey you, Waldman, get over here!”  Those gym suits would have made Marilyn Monroe look frumpy.  I was a tall skinny beanpole in those days so I looked somewhat like an old flour sack hanging on a flagpole.  I suspect they were designed by someone who flunked out of the New York Academy of Design or some such!  I am quite sure that the designer moved on to another highly successful career designing uniforms for our nation’s jails and prisons!  Maybe it was all a plot to be sure that the boys weren’t looking in our direction.

We only had two regular activities in those awful Gym classes year after year, both of which I detested.  When the weather was warm, which was most of the time in Dallas, we played girls’ softball outside.  Now I have to tell you I hate what I call object-implement games!  This entails any activity where I have to hit an object, such as a ball, shuttlecock, puck, etc., with an implement of any kind.  This would include bats, rackets, golf clubs, or even my own hands or feet.  Before I arrived on this earth, I’m sure God had a good chuckle as he was dishing out the chromosomes.  “Let’s not give this one any hand-eye coordination genes.  That should be amusing!”

The other activity when it was too cold or rainy to be tortured outside with softball, was volleyball inside the girls’ Gym.  Other people did spectacular leaps and hits back and forth over the net.  Not me, I mostly just stood there surreptitiously eyeing the clock on the wall.  Even time stood still for those endless games.  Once in a great while we got to do calisthenics.  That was fine; I loved that!  I probably would have loved and excelled at track and field types of activities or competitive swimming.  It is a shame that those activities were not offered or encouraged.  It was really a toss-up which I hated more, the softball or the volleyball, and I haven’t changed my opinion of either over the years.

Only one good thing in my life ever came out of volleyball.  At the beginning of my second year at NTSU (North Texas State University), now known by the loftier name of the University of North Texas, I went one evening with a couple of friends to the BSU or Baptist Student Union.  Now I was not Baptist or even overly religious, but figured I might meet some cute guys, so it was worth a visit.  With my hair fixed and make-up on, I wore one of my favorite dresses, an orange, two- piece dotted-swiss one.  We arrived at the BSU, and, God protect me, they were having a volleyball game!  Against my better judgement, I was coerced into playing that horrendous game yet again.

Then suddenly, Whap, right in the side of my head!  I got taken out by a spiked ball from some sadistic player across the net.  If I had been a cartoon character, I would have been covered with stars and chirping birds.  The culprit rushed to help me up and ended up walking me back to my dorm later that evening.  He turned out to be a tall, blue-eyed guy with a blond flat top.  We began dating, and the rest is history!  We now have two great looking blue-eyed, blond sons, and two adorable grandsons (and of course, two wonderful daughters-in-law as well).

It wasn’t until after we had been married for several years that Bill finally summed up the courage to tell me that he hated my beloved orange dress and thought it was hideous.  It was probably a good thing he didn’t tell me that sooner, or history might have taken a different path!

©The Eclectic Grandma, 2017

 

Big Tex

big-texWhat little kid doesn’t like a fair?   The Texas State Fair is the Grand-daddy of them all!  Texas always boasted of having the biggest state fair in the U.S., and I suspect this is a true claim. I was fortunate as a little kid to get to go to this attraction every year.  I don’t think my husband, who grew up in west Texas, ever even made it to the fair.  Located on a sprawling, 277 acre campus in southeast Dallas, appropriately named Fair Park, the fairgrounds include the livestock pavilions, museums, exhibit halls, the world-famous Cotton Bowl, and every kid’s favorite, the Midway.   Visitors to the Fair are greeted by Big Tex, a 55′ tall talking and animated statue dressed, of course, in blue jeans and a western shirt.  Imagine a Howdy Doody puppet on steroids, and you get the idea!

The State Fair was so important to Dallas that we even got a day off from school in October to attend.  When we were younger, my parents dutifully took us every year.  By the time I was in 7th or 8th grade, my parents let me take the bus to the Fair.  This entailed a lengthy bus ride from northwest Dallas to downtown and. Transfer to another bus to southeast Dallas.  As I look back at this, I must admit that I am somewhat surprised that they allowed that.  In today’s seemingly more dangerous society, that might be a high risk kind of adventure!

Nonetheless, when my friends and I arrived at the Fair, we dutifully traipsed through the various exhibit halls.  We looked at the cows and horses and even the pigs!  We surveyed the handmade quilts, jars of beautiful jewel toned jams and jellies, and yummy looking pies.  I would have loved to be one of the judges for the pies, but, alas, they never asked me!  One of the first things that used to greet visitors near the front entrance was a little “house” where Elsie the Borden’s Dairy cow lived with her husband Elmer, and their offspring Beulah and Beauregard.  I assume, like Borden’s Dairy, they are all long gone.  It never occurred to me then, but I have to wonder if Elmer was actually a steer rather than a bull? midway

The Midway was, of course, our favorite place to stop.  All of those glorious rides! For .10 or .25 a ride, you could ride endlessly or so it seemed.  Besides the rides, the Midway featured a number of booths where you could win an array of cheap prizes like stuffed animals and little plaster “stuff” of various kinds.  There were also a larger number of side shows being hawked by the carneys!  I wonder if they are still around today as by today’s standard they were so politically incorrect!  There was the bearded lady (Poor thing probably just needed some hormone therapy!), the tattooed man (Today he wouldn’t even get a second glance; just look at professional athletes or many of the visitors in any US mall for tattoos!), and the sad animal examples of anomalies in nature like the two-headed snake and so on.

On one memorable occasion, my little sister was on the kiddie ferris wheel, the kind with little closed cages, when the ride stalled out.  Soon the entire air was permeated with the sounds of wailing little kids!  Much to the consternation of the operators of the ride, my Dad and my uncle, who was visiting us from Philadelphia at the time, climbed up the outer structure of the little wheel and proceeded to hand down the bawling little ones to other father who jumped in to help out.  These days in my adult mode I always wonder if the operators of these rides are sober and haven’t had a few puffs of weed or a quick hit out of a flask and when was the last time the ride was thoroughly checked out for safety!

Then there was the food, of course–sticky cotton candy, greasy corn dogs, drippy ice cream bars, and hot pretzels.  It was a wonder that we didn’t all go home with an upset tummy, or maybe we did, and I just blotted out that memory!  I probably haven’t had cotton candy or a corn dog in over 40 years, but in those days it all tasted pretty good to me.  One of my favorites was a stand that sold a box with a couple of pieces of fried chicken sitting atop some soggy French fries and a very flat slice of white bread.  This delicious box came with a couple of packets of honey, ensuring that we were completely a gooey mess by the time we finished.  Remember this was before Colonel Sanders became a household name!

Does the mystique of a State Fair still enchant new generations of kids who have grown up with Disney World, Universal Studios, and Six Flags over Texas?  I hope the fun of going to a State Fair still entrances them!  This is truly a little slice of the American heritage that we need to hang on to!

©The Eclectic Grandma, 2016

The Moments of our Lives

Have you ever looked back at your life and the monumental events therein?  We all have the personal events–the weddings, the births, the deaths, the crises, the tragedies of life– but we also have the massive overlay of world events … Continue reading

My Jewish Cousins

As I’ve mentioned before, I grew up in Dallas, Texas in the 1950’s.  Not only was I a transplanted Yankee; I was also a Lutheran.  A Papist among the Baptists and Methodists!  Lutherans, Catholics, and Episcopalians were all pretty scarce … Continue reading

Back to School!

I feel sorry for today’s kids;  everyone goes back to school in mid August!  When I was a kid, oh so long ago, we didn’t go back to school until after Labor Day.  Of course, in those days none of … Continue reading

The Judas Goat

Word of the Day:  Peccadillo ( )   “A small relatively unimportant offense or sin.  Synonyms:  misdemeanor, petty offense, indiscretion, lapse, misdeed.” Have you ever had a pet goat?  We had Mabel the goat.  Like many of the animals that … Continue reading

My Modelling Career Commences

Word of the Day:  Posture (päs’ chər)  “The position or carriage of the body in standing or sitting, often with reference to the alignment of the back shoulders, and head.”

A professional photographer and his wife lived across the street from us on Willow Brook Road.  Their property was much swankier than ours with a fancy house, a studio, beautiful grounds, and a large in-ground swimming pool.  Apparently he had the contract for the Sears Catalogues.  Remember those old Sears Catalogues that came out a couple times a year?  Sears would ship him stacks and stacks of clothing for him to photograph, using live models.  Enter Lynn and Suzanne!  I really don’t know how it all came about, but a couple times a year we were enlisted to try on an assortment of beautiful new clothes and pose before the cameras.

I assume that some payment was involved in these camera forays, but I don’t think we ever saw any of it.  Someday, in the next life, I’ll have to ask my parents about that!  Of course, if it helped to meet expenses, I think we would have been fine with it, especially if it meant less pheasant for dinner.  The photographer, I think his name was Frank Randt, was a hard task master.  We learned to stand exactly right, with feet and hands in the precise positions he required, while still trying to look natural and unposed.  That was somewhat of an oxymoron, I think.

We both enjoyed the glamour shots, the new shorts and tops outfits, the Easter dresses, and the winter coats, but there was a downside to this modelling business.  We also had to do the underwear fashions. I hated that! At that point, I was as straight as a board as the saying goes.  Little slips, petticoats, undershirts, and even panties.  Who ever wore undershirts anyway?  What could be more mortifying for a cowgirl like me than to be caught in front of a camera in my underwear for all the world to see?  Our career phased out after a couple of years.  I suspect he either lost the Sears contract or we outgrew his criteria for being the right sizes.

There was, however, one amazing side benefit to our short-lived modeling careers. We were invited to use that glorious swimming pool as often as we wanted.  It was surrounded by a chain link fence and totally shielded from view by a number of large trees.  I don’t recall the size of the pool, but it was large enough to have a diving board in the deep end.  Sometimes my Mother, sister, and I went together.  Other times I was allowed to go by myself. At moments like that, I could revert to my Esther Williams persona or, my new favorite, Jane.  Now you are probably saying to yourself, “Who is Jane?”  She, of course, was Tarzan’s consort.  There was a weekly Saturday morning television show about Tarzan, Jane, and the chimpanzee.  They all three went swimming in deep rivers and swinging through the trees on long vines that miraculously never broke and always took them to the  exact right landing spot!  I wonder if Tarzan and Jane ever got married, or if she was a fallen woman?

As I recall those lazy days of swimming, I am somewhat surprised that I was routinely allowed to go unsupervised to a pool like this, but I loved it.  For those of us growing up in the fifties, our days were generally free and unstructured.  Often I left in the morning and didn’t return until hunger or fatigue brought me home again.  I don’t think our parents were any less caring or loving than today’s parents, but there was more of an underlying assumption that kids were basically safe and could take care of themselves.  I don’t think I would have ever let my boys swim alone at a neighbor’s pool as I was allowed to do.

Not too far behind our house there was an old gravel pit where we often rode our horses.  We went up and down the huge piles of sand and gravel and swam the horses across standing bodies of water.  Looking back, I can only shudder at what a dangerous spot this really was!  I am sure all children have tales that they have never shared with their parents, at least not until adulthood, but I never did tell my parents about the gravel pit escapades.

When I became a teenager, I had visions of becoming a fashion model, probably as an aftermath of those early days in front of a camera.  I posed incessantly and often walked around the house balancing a book on my head to ensure good posture.  My Dad never lost his military bearing, and my Mother was somewhat of the posture policia.  “Stand up straight.”  “Hold your shoulders back.”  “Don’t stand there sway-backed.”  I suppose all those admonitions took hold as I do have pretty good posture to this day.

Outside of a few brief stints in high school, my modelling career never quite materialized, and my interests quickly moved on to other visions of the future.  When I was around thirteen or fourteen, I did make my television début.  Unfortunately, it was as the Easter Bunny on some stupid children’s program on one of the Dallas television stations, but it was live television, even if I was totally concealed in my Easter Bunny outfit!

©2015, Black Dirt and Sunflowers

Time for a change of pace next week.  Join me for “Clowns, Cancer, and Clairvoyance.”

More Tales from the White House

Word of the day:  Sunflower (sun flou’ ər) “Any of a genus (Helianthus) of tall plants of the composite family, having large daisylike flowers with yellow, brown, purple, or almost black disks containing edible seeds”

I probably owe you an explanation of why the memoirs of my childhood are called Black Dirt and Sunflowers.  The farm house on Willow Brook Road was set on two acres of land.  It was a long skinny plot of land with the house and garage on one acre, and the pasture in the back.  Our neighbors didn’t have any livestock, so we also had access to their back acres as well, giving us a three acre pasture for the horses and those pesky chickens.  The soil was heavy black dirt, from some ancient  river bottom.  When it rained, the dirt acquired the consistency of heavy clay, sticking to the horses’ hooves like giant black dinner plates.  I don’t know how they even managed to slog around the pasture.  They also loved to roll in the black mud.  They ended up so caked in mud that they looked like some modern version of the terra cotta warriors!

In the summer, we plowed the pastures with Bess’ old International Harvester tractor and scattered rye and alfalfa seed all around.  I was entrusted with the tractor at a fairly young age, long before I could drive a car. We never seemed to grow a great  crop of pasture grass, but we grew sunflowers like crazy.  By August, the pastures were usually covered with six foot tall sunflower plants.  The horses made little meandering trails through them seeking out what little grass that had managed to grow.

We had two horse stalls, a feed and hay room, and the infamous chicken coop.  One of my weekly chores was scrubbing out the horse trough.  It stayed filled with a float valve, but with the well water, the hot weather, and horse slobber, it quickly grew a thick coating of disgusting green algae.  At least once a week, sometimes more often, it was my responsibility to scrub it out with a wire brush until it was once again gleamingly clean.  My Dad’s usual injunction was that it had to be clean enough for me to drink out of, so after thoroughly scrubbing and refilling the trough, I would typically stick my face in and take a few big gulps just to prove to the world that it was definitely clean enough!

My Dad, despite his tough guy exterior, was really an old softie.  In the winter when the cold, damp winds blew ruthlessly across the pasture, he would make up some sort of hot bran, oats, and molasses mash that he fed to the horses, some sort of a horsey oatmeal.  I am not sure what all went into the dish, but the two horses seemed to think it was pretty tasty and eagerly awaited his arrival with the goodies.  My Dad never ever rode either of the two horses, but he was quite fond of them and viewed them as some sort of giant lapdogs.  They reciprocated his affection and looked forward to a variety of treats that he typically carried for them, sugar cubes, carrots, apples, and the all time best treat ever, watermelon rinds.  Horses love watermelon and cantaloupe.  I can still see them happily munching with watermelon drool dripping out of their mouths, messy but tasty!

One morning as we ate breakfast, we heard the clippity clop of iron horseshoes on the gravel driveway.  Without looking up, my Dad said, “Some poor bastard’s horses got out.”  This was followed almost immediately by another loud expletive and “Those are my horses!”  The wayward escapees were quickly rounded up and returned to their pasture, while we all very carefully kept a straight face.  It would not have gone over well to have laughed at that exchange.

We also had a real playhouse, not some sort of little, snap-together plastic thing from Home Depot.  This one was about ten by twelve feet with electricity, screened windows, and a front porch. It had white siding and little red shutters.  Inside were a small table and chairs and a set of old bunkbeds, and the ceiling was tall enough for an adult to stand up in.  For a cowgirl, this was the bunkhouse, the real deal!  The wasps and the bees tended to build their nests under the eaves of the little front porch.  My friends and I learned to knock the nests down and then run like you-know-what out of the way of the angry inhabitants.  The playhouse was stiflingly hot in the summer and way too cold in the winter, but it was, nonetheless, our special place and sanctuary!

Daddy also built us a small above-the-ground swimming pool.  It was about ten feet by eight feet and about two and a half feet deep with poured concrete sides and bottom.  It wasn’t quite big enough to really swim in, but we still enjoyed it immensely on hot summer days.  Often we kids would be kicked out of the little pool, and our parents and their friends would hang out in the pool with a cooler of beer sitting right beside it.  Our flock of ducks, more about them in another blog, also loved the pool and thought Daddy had built it for them.  Of course, after the ducks were in for a while, the pool had to be drained and scrubbed before the human participants could use it again.  Luckily, cleaning the pool never made my chore list!

©2015, Black Dirt and Sunflowers

Join me next week for “My Modelling Career Commences.”