A few weeks ago I told you about the first anniversary of my Mother’s death. We all have to go through the painful process of having to say good-bye to a loved one. In those final weeks, she had made her own internal decision that she was ready to depart this life. She was placed in Hospice care at her request. I can’t say enough positive things about Hospice and the entire death with dignity approach. I was fortunate enough to work as a Hospice nurse for several years in the past and can only hope I was also able to give some comfort and support to the dying and their families.
My Mother was never an overly religious person, not nearly as much so as my Dad, but in those last weeks she made her peace with God. The Hospice chaplain offered her spiritual support and solace. He was actually an Ecumenical Catholic and had formerly been a Roman Catholic priest actually stationed in Rome. I’m not sure the denomination or religion makes that much difference as we approach death. She even wanted the Last Rites in those last couple of days. That was quite a change for a woman raised a Baptist in Pennsylvania!
What do you talk about in those final days and hours with a loved one? We reminisced about the past, both recent past and distant past, people, and events. One afternoon as I sat by her bed, I asked her if she remembered a particular cocktail dress she had when I was about 10 or 11. It was some sort of silky or taffeta material in a beige color with gold fleur-de-lis printed all over it. The best part was that it was strapless with a band of real mink right across the top of the strapless bustline. I thought it was the most glamorous thing I had ever seen in my life! She told me she didn’t remember it. Now, I knew I had not hallucinated that dress, but I was wondering if my memory was playing tricks on me.
When we moved my Mother out of her condo to her senior living apartment several years ago, among the things I kept were an old Bell and Howell movie projector and a box of old 8mm films. My Dad was a gadget person and was probably one of the first people in Dallas to acquire a movie camera. If he were alive today, I am sure he would have GPS in his car and the latest iPhone! Our childhood was carefully recorded in those old films. I recall watching them on that old noisy projector. The old Bell and Howell was a bear to thread, the quality of the film wasn’t great, and of course, no sound or commentary was possible.
After her death, I thought I should really do something with all of those old films. I ended up mailing them to one of those services that will convert old films to a digital format, for a hefty fee I might add. When I got all the films converted and started watching a couple of them, the very first one I happened to select was–you guessed it–my mother as a young woman of about 39 or 40 wearing that very dress! At least I knew that I hadn’t just conjured it up. I just wish I had converted them sooner so she could have relived some of those old memories before she passed on, but I suspect she had a good chuckle when she saw me watching those old videos. I think she must have directed me to that very video just to see the dress.
I still haven’t watched all of those old home movies. That may be a good thing to do on some snowy afternoon!
© 2015, Home Again–A Spiritual Journey
